JYO or JOY

This year I have been thinking quite a bit about the nature of love. It is well known that the Bible uses three Greek words for love: eros, phileo and agape. I think these first two are somewhat natural, they seem hardwired into our human nature.  To love physically, to be stimulated and adore the person in a way described by eros or to feel the concern and caring for another human being on the basis of a shared creation in God's image, as in phileo, are not easy to be sure, because they do require us to think outside of our selfish natures.  But there is something super-human about agape.  Agape is that the self-sacrificing love for someone without any benefit to yourself.  It is the direct opposite of selfishness because it gives up any claim for the self.  It does not care about the nature of the one who is loved.

So where does this kind of love come from?  It certainly cannot come from within us.  Our depraved sin natures are incapable of this kind of love.  I was intrigued by the command in the Matthew's gospel.  Jesus tells us to "Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:39)  I realized something remarkable that I hadn't noticed before, which is the implication in those last two words.  If we are to love others, we must first love ourselves.  We usually think of this as the epitome of self-centeredness. But here Jesus tells us that in order to love others, we must find an equal measure of love for ourselves. Now I spent the better part of high school and college hating myself.  To the point when someone said I should just be myself, a said "Why? I fu#*ing hate myself."  So where does this love come from?  How can we move from self-centeredness or self-loathing to and agape love of self?

It certainly comes from nowhere within ourselves.  But look what John tells us in his first letter. "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." (I John 3:16)  It is only when we can understand that God loves us, the real us, the messed up, selfish, sinning, rebellious us.  He loves us when we ignore Him, when we turn away from Him in disgust and when we spit in His face.  He loves us even when we have no idea why to love ourselves and loves us without expecting anything in return.  In all of this we are faced with one inescapable fact: We are worth the love of God. My goodness, the all-powerful, creator and sustainer of the universe God sees me and says "I love you!"  There is something about me that is worthy of God's love and that is something I find almost unbelievable.

It is this that becomes the basis for our love of others.  If God can love even me, then God can love anyone.  I can love anyone because God sees something worthy in them, too.  I know that because He found something worthy in me. 

When we consider the meaning of love, we need to change around that common acronym of  JOY.  We have typically explained it as Jesus-Others-You.  But this is not the way the Bible describes love.  Love begins with God's agape love for me, which leads to my love for myself, which leads to my love for others.  It is only when we pervert love to what it provides me instead of what I do for others, that this sequence, Jesus-You-Others, becomes unbiblical.  I have found true love in God's love for me.  In this I am able to find meaning and worth in myself.  It is only then that I can truly love others.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing all a happy Thanksgiving. It's times like these that I reflect back on the year and thank God for all I have and all the things God has blessed me with.

To Write Love On Her Arms

Last Monday, I traveled over to a coffeehouse in Newtown Square in Pennsylvania (btw, I hate driving in the Philadelphia suburbs and I hate coffeehouses, a twofer) to attend an event by To Write Love On Her Arms.  TWLOHA is an awareness and support organization for people dealing with depression, suicide and self-injury.  I was a very moving experience. I got there about twenty minutes early and the place was already filled.  They ended up holding two events simultaneously.  For those of us outside, Josh Moore and Zach Williams sang, standing on flimsy chairs while we all shivered in the cold.  Inside, they held a talk about the organization and the work they do.  Halfway through they switched.  At the end, we all went in for the question and answer session.  I was tremendously moved by the number of hurting people there and thinking about the hundreds and thousands from our area that weren't.  Many of these (mostly) teens had been through so much and were searching anywhere for hope in their lives.  I could describe more but watch this video about that night and pray for all those that are suffering.  They are all around you.  And God loves each and every one.

Oh and I know most of you read this blog through my Facebook Notes.  Please go to the actual blog by going here: http://www.jacksavidge.blogspot.com. You can watch the linked videos there.

Helpless

OK, so I have been a teacher at The King's Christian School, my alma mater, for going on six years now, three years teaching 5th grade, one year teaching both 5th grade and high school and now in my 2nd year teaching only high school.  For a variety of reasons, mostly that I had not felt I was making any impact on the students at all, during last school year I had resolved to not come back for this year.  I had done the research and had even filled out the application for Denver Seminary.  But for some reason, it just didn't feel right. 

So I asked God to let me make a difference.  I needed to be broken and realize that I really did care about my students, not just as young scholars, but to truly care about them.  What I did not anticipate was how unbelievably painful and hard this would be.  I have had to be open to hearing some things that are just hard to listen to, to open myself honestly about the stupidity of my past and to just listen.  What was most difficult was just not having many answers for these young men and women.  Now, here is what is so frustrating. I am a fixer.  Give me a problem and I'll give you a solution, maybe even one that works. But most times I am impotent to help at all.  And this week I realized something important, something transformative, something downright humbling.

I am helpless.  Helpless.  And in this I realized that God was waiting for me to realize this.  Helpless to fix each and every problem.  Helpless to say the right thing.  Helpless.  I realize now that in doing all I could to solve these problems I was pushing God away and inserting myself.  It was conceit and idolatry.  God wants me to embrace my helplessness so that his grace could come through.

So here I am, helpless.  I have resolved to meet God right here, where my helplessness meets His grace.  I think this is where He wants me.  I am scared, petrified, anxious.  But I am excited to see God's power at work.  

Please God, work through the messed up creature that is me and bring healing to these hurting kids.  I am helpless before You and pray that You meet me here.  I stand aside and ask that You take control.

The Worst Christian Video Ever

This has to be the very worst video ever.  And they wanted us to listen to this instead of Van Halen. And then Slipknot plays Sonseed and Sonseed plays Slipknot